B5

By Deanne Bradley

Stumble Upon

del.icio.us

Digg

Facebook

Print

Email

Speak Up

Everyone who has a cat or dog for a pet probably thinks their animal is the most intelligent and the most lovable. But these pets can be overshadowed by a barnyard pig.

Dirty? Fat? Stupid? This is hogwash!

Scientists say pigs are superior to all other domestic animals. They learn quickly to fetch and retrieve, pull a cart and even dance!

Swine first appeared on the earth about 40 million years ago. Columbus is said to have brought the first eight pigs to the New World.

Most pigs delight in being around people – especially if you talk to them and scratch their back. They usually tolerate other four-legged animals, but they can be downright nasty to leg-less creatures. They don't just batter a snake – they eat them.

"Eat like a pig," you say? If humans did eat like a pig they would probably be healthier. Unlike dogs and cats – and humans – a pig does not bolt down its food; it chews and savours it and roots it around with its snout to release the flavour.

One expert says rather than "dirty pigs" the animals be called "earthy pigs." It is Mother Earth they love and soft brown dirt is intoxicating to a pig. In fact, to a pig, this is "hog heaven."

Pigs communicate through a series of squeals and grunts. Pigs utter no squeals of joy. The squeal is a distress call and can be heard from far away. Pigs see humans as fellow citizens and take it for granted (or grunted) that we understand their language.

Through the years

A June 1926 Carleton Sentinel has details on youths being "under the influence," and a remedy for speeders.

Under the influence – Some time ago, Love's Hotel in Glassville was considerably damaged by several young men who were under the influence of liquor.

One J. Scott and one F. Welch appeared before the police magistrate to answer to the charges.

While they may have been in the crowd, no evidence was produced that they did the damage to the property and on Saturday of last week, Magistrate Dibblee dismissed the charges.

We have a remedy – Certain irresponsible parties from our friendly neighbour, the Pine Tree State (Maine) have lately been overstepping the limit, more or less, on the occasion of their visits to Woodstock.

We are always glad to welcome visitors from outside points, and to extend to them the fullest measure of our hospitality. But for those who do not appreciate such hospitality – who speed their cars recklessly through our streets, and act in a manner which they well know would not be tolerated for a moment in their own home town – we have a remedy which we shall be forced to apply, unpleasant though it may be, for all concerned.

Out to old Aunt Mary's

Wasn't it pleasant, O brother of mine in those old days of the lost sunshine

Of youth – when the Saturday's chores were through, and the Sunday's wood in the kitchen, too

And we went visiting, me and you out to old Aunt Mary's.

It all comes back so clear today, though I am bald and you are gray

Out by the barn-lot, and down the lane we patter along in the dust again

As light as the tips of the drops of the rain – out to old Aunt Mary's

We cross the pasture and through the wood where the old gray snag of the poplar stood

Where the hammering red-heads hopped awry and the buzzards "raised" in the clearing sky

And lolled and circled as we went by – out to old Aunt Mary's

And then in the dust of the road again, and the teams we met and the countrymen

And the long highway, with sunshine spread as thick as butter on country bread

Our cares behind and our hearts ahead – out to old Aunt Mary's

Why, I see her now in the open door where the little gourds grew up the sides and o'er

The clapboard roof! And her face – Ah, me! Wasn't it good for a boy to see

And wasn't it good for a boy to be – out to old Aunt Mary's

The jelly - the jam and marmalade, and the cherry and quince preserves she made

And the sweet-sour pickles of peach and pear with cinnamon in ‘em, and all things rare

And the more we ate was the more to spare - out to old Aunt Mary's

And the old spring house in the cool green gloom of the willow trees and the cooler room

Where the swinging shelves and the crocks were kept, where the cream in a golden languor slept

While the waters gurgled and laughed and wept – out to old Aunt Mary's

And as many a time have you and I – barefoot boys in the days gone by – knelt and in tremulous ecstasies

Dipped our lips into sweets like these – Memory now is on her knees – out to old Aunt Mary's.

And O my brother so far away, this is to tell you she waits today to welcome us – Aunt Mary fell

Asleep this morning, whispering "Tell the boys to come" and all is well.

Out to old Aunt Mary's!

Weekly smile

While on a visit to Japan, a group of tourists went on to travel by bus to mainland China. One day the bus stopped suddenly on a narrow country lane, a man leading a pig on a leash blocking their way.

"Well," said one of the passengers, "there's a road hog if I've ever seen one."

***

A young man received an invitation to go horseback riding with the people who lived across the way. Because it was his first time, he felt he should warn his neighbour.

"You might be embarrassed to ride with me," he said. "I'm not what you would call an equestrian."

"Oh, don't worry about that," the neighbour replied. "I'm not an equestrian either. I'm a Capricorn."

The last word

Look out your window from the breakfast table, and you will see the bird after the worm, the cat after the bird and the dog after the cat. It gives you a little better understanding of the morning news.